Cheap thrill

oh hi. did i tell you about my electric guitar? i knew that i will not able to see it again when i borrowed it to dean. maybe i do want to get rid of it, i dont really think what i can make use of it again. so yeap, i sold it to dean. im quite a bit reluctant when i did that, after all, i had spent so much time working odd jobs for it, but, never mind, an acoustic guitar is quite enough. but then, theres another thought on my mind is that, i will buy another one, just right after i finish my provincinal exams. but, of course, i learnt a lesson there, never tell anyone you own lectric guitar or drums or anything, because they will borrow em from you, and most of the time, your stuffs ended up broken in pieces.

hm, i got my pictures taken for yearbook. i hope i dont end looking like a cat dragged from the drain. oh yeah, tomorrow's the day for our calss picture taken too. maybe i will look better this year. because from form 1 to form4 , i look absoulute abhorrent. froim what i recall, in form one, i was squashed between two girls. i simply cannot turn my face and my body to the camera. and in form two, my band broke, and my hair fell out of place, and i look as if i just woke up from my bed. and in form 3, i looked so... i dont know. i think i must be pissed that day, because i looked so sour, while in form 4, we just had our spotcheck by miss teoh, and she cut completely half of my bangs away, try imagine it. it's terrible.

and i had the most terrible cramp on my neck today duroing chinese period, i was like 'fuck me', it hurts like hell. and i had spasm on my neck the whole day. and my teacher thought that i was fooling around , when i tried to twist my neck back to the 'right' way, and she kept asking me silly question about classical language , i thought i wanted to scream and said " dont you see im having cramp here?"

and today i was having a nicotine crack, i actually went to the girls' toilet to take a fag. thats, i dont know. i thought i had gone out of my mind. i never really did this in school, i meant, imagine when you get caught. and i have already have a bad record for skipping school earlier this year, i could be suspend. but anyway, what the hell, maybe its the cheap thrill iwas looking for.

oh yea. during the recces time, i went over to the next building to find the girls, but when i climbed up the stairs, i find ann ying talking on her handphone, so me , kate and sayheng decided to come down back to have our breakfast. but i had this feeling that it must be jonathan calling her, and she will have a emotional fit when we went back up there, and of course when we had finished eating. ( we decided to let her cool off a bit) she really did look as if she had cried, with puffy eyes, and red nose and everything. so we decided to keep quiet, and well, if she does not want to tell us what the problems are, let it be. because when she blurted it all out, it will be really hard to control her sobs already. we dont want everyone to know that she had just quarreled with that fuckwit right?

it was not long that kate told me what happened when i left their class when reccess was over. well, ann ying did cry again in class. when kate asked her what's her problem, but didnt tell her whats really happening and so she just left her there. sitting beside her. but then ann ying asked say heng about this... well, this particular guy that had been wooing her for quite some time, and we had known by reputation that this particular guy is someone we cant trust. but ann ying seems to had been convinced by him already, i mean, if you had no interest with this particular guy at all, you wont bother to tell your friends at all. and of course, say heng told her not to put too much trust on him, but this guy had appeared at the right moment, i meant this is when she needs much comfort from someone, and this particular guy had the perfect timing, he appeared at the moment annying's realtionship is on the edge. i dont really know how to say, but he is just not good enough for her. but to think of it, or is it the guy that we doesnt like? are we trying to tell her not to date somebody we doesn't like? oh, i dont know.

sigh, i just wish her wil be just alright and everything will just ends fine. i really dont know what to say or do to tell her anyway. sometimes, i feel like i want to call the fuckwit and tell him to treat my friend better, but somehow i have no right to do all these. and perhaps , just my one call will wreck their whole relationship.