Saturday Morning Blues

stubbed my toe the first thing in the morning, obviously not good. it's six something when i got up, took a leak, brushed my teeth, washed my face etc etc. settled down, bathe cookies and my dashund, cleaned laundries.. *yawn* and i felt tired already.
was still thinking about what ann ying told me yesterday when she called me.. "what did you take to get an OD ?" the first thing came across my mind when she asked this, is that she want to take her own life. I just kept asking her why, and she just said " i just want to know what did you take to end up in hospital." oh well, i dont want to tell her at first, but finally i gave in, and i said, "you swallowed every damned pills, vitamins or not, in your cabinet, and you sure will land into the ward." then she asked again:" you will just get stomachace? and everything will be alright?"
i almost laughed. stomachache only? i wish. and i said :" you will vomit til you faint. and you can't breath. its just not good to get an OD."
and then, she hang up. i felt very odd after that, i felt as if i am not being irresponsible, i should have not tell her that ODing can done by merely swallowed every pills she can land her hands off. what if she really want to commit suicide? then i called Kate, i told her about this.
Me: ann ying called me just now, and asked me how to get an OD.
Kate : huh? why did she asked that ? and you know what,she (annying) asked me the other day that, what did you(ME) do to get an overdose that got you(me) into hospital. and i said don't know, cause i thought you will rather not let her know. But how did she knew that you got an OD before?
Me: She saw me taking ascorbic pills to neutralize the acid inside. And i told her that i ate somehting wrong ,as in, taking Wrong pills. and so , she knew.
Kate: So, what now? do you think i should call her and see what's happening?
Me: yeah, you better so. i felt stupid and guilty enough to tell her HOW to get an OD.
Kate: yeah, why DID you tell her, huh? aih, nevr mind, i will call her to ask.

so, later that night, ann ying did log on. and i felt a bit relieved. at least, its not my fault if she died.( i KNOW. i am being STUPID to tell her) sigh. anyway, i chatted with her a while, and she told me about the problems of her relationship, sometimes, i dont even know what should i tell her when she goes gaga about jon. i mean, if it is really that hard to maintain a good relationship with him, why linger on? of course, this is her problem and i dont know entirely of their going on's. so i will just keep an open ear.
and plus, i am going to see her today, maybe then, i can at least make her smile. Kate will be there too. Two klutz, oh scratch that, I mean three klutz (im bringing my sister along, remember?). im sure three of us will make her laugh.

sigh, all i can say is, We all have dreams and wishes... sometime we think of them when we blow out one birthday candles, drop a coin a fountain or at night before we go to bed. But, we have to remember we have to try hard to achieve it, though there is time there are things that we cannot own.Think of some place, for your hopes and dreams and wishes to come to frunition... i always find that if you put them "out there", providence tends to move out a faster pace...
well, just a thought...

ps: check http://www.vivianlives.com .Simply awesome.