I finally called him. It was weird at first. I do not know what shall I said. And I actually hung up at first when I called. When I really managed to call him the second time, he said " oh, that was you just now." That's just crap. Like I'm a nine year old that still makes prank call.

And it's only 7.40pm when I called him. He said he was going to pub. At seven ? It seems a tad bit absurd, but he told me if he's going there early,he won't have to pay for entrance fee. But what he said didnt really registered into my brain. He, who once never went clubbing, now he told me he's going there extra early so that he'll get free entrance?

And oh, he kept saying that he missed me. And he asked me, 'did you miss me?" I don't know what to say. And I said, 'maybe' And then he told me, ' ya know what, I wanted to stay single. Unattached. But I love you.'

So he loves me, and he doesnt want to be with me? Does that makes sense? But it doenst matter, we are just friends. With or without him i will go on just fine.

Then we talked about non-committed stuffs. Studies and works. and s. michelle? and sonia.. jenny? *shakeshead* i felt like wanting to strangle his throat from the end of the phone line. And he actually told me he had a girlfriend. I was ready to kill him.

I just felt sick when He told me about his girlfriends.. ex-girlfriends... (maybe i do still feel something for him, after all, he's my savior when i was in my worst years.)

sigh, i hate to admit it. maybe I do still like him. *shrugs* and i loathed it when he told me about his life not involving me. that is, having new girlfriend.

Oh did i made you confused now?Everything i typed here were so fragmented.I guess I'm never a writer. that's what stan made me believed.But ironically when I checked my mailbox today, there's an envelope lying there, it said : "RM110 worth of voucher for prose writting organized by NST."

Look, I know i am confusing now.

But fuck that, at least i got to win some cash and you didn't.


ps: rainy season's here. i love the drizzle but yet, im down with a fever. Trying to catch the bus, standing beneathe her tears.