Im..tired

I don't trust myself anymore.

i'm starting to lose myself. all the things i used to like aren't there for me anymore. i used to be capable of having a serious conversation but nowadays it's like i seem to be running away from them. someone will be asking me something serious, and i'll answer it for awhile, but then my face would suddenly twitch into...

let's start again.

i stopped listening to the voices in my head for fear of going insane. this body....i hate it because it's not doing the things i want it to; fly...are you still breathing God? i can't feel you in me anymore. i had cut my skin with glass try to figure out your existence somewhere....in me.peeling back skin, would i find the evidence that you haven't left me?

the hardest thing to do these days is cry. watching a movie ~ewan mcgregor and nicole *hindi sad diamonds* moulin rouge~ you'd think the liquid diamonds were made of the silences within my eyes.

"never pay the reaper with love only, what can i say to you except i love you" - biff naked

so yesterday i was dreaming. but i couldn't remember. for what it's worth, i haven't even been trying anymore. what's the use when you know god doesn't want you there anymore.

i had this dream you see? i was too corrupt in a previous life...i killed people. i didn't care anymore. so the fire. then the angel asked me "earth or heaven".

"you think it's funny to mess with my mind, don't you?" - boomkat