Lucky Me

Yesterday, I turned over the page of NST. And I saw my name right in the list of the ten finalist that got choosen for the Go Getter Challenge. hey hey, that's the one gonna win me two fully sponsored trip to Taipeh. haha
And i cant believe that I used Kate's name to nominate myself into that contest. And I got choosen. Talk about luck, heh. But then, im so so so thankful of that.. i mean.. i'd entered quite some ammount of contests these day. And i almost won all of them. (look, im not trying to compliment on myself. thats just the fact, ok? ;P)
But then, i am not sure whenther i can attend the interview in KL that will finally land me to Taipeh. Cause the person in charge had not contact me to tell me about the winning. I mean, if the trip to kl is not sponsor, i might be having trouble attending it. Plus, spm's coming. ;(
sigh...
oh yeah, i just got back from dinner by the way. It was attended by my dad's hometown relatives. They are all from alor setar which i dont know one single soul at all. And i got to sit with a bunch of kids that keep tugging at my hair and asking me to play catch with them. jeeez.
And then, thats not just the worst part, my table's food with the kids are different from the other table. And... it was one of the. WORST. yucks.
and then, my night sucked really really bad.. when my cousin, sean came around and asked me about my plan after SPM. and i told him about going to college and then.. i am very keen on taking up mass com as my major. THen he start asking me to take Law instead. But im not at all interested with that.
But then, he just analyzed that i might be regretful of what course i plan to take in the future because, not much people that pick up mass com will be able to find a job with good pay raise that promise bright future for me. But law is different, because of the money, and then i can work for my dad. sigh..
and then he keep on going that i shouldnt make my decision too fast, i should take time thinking; to gurantee my FUTURE.
oh fuck, he even told me journalist had to be really confident.. good looking and..well..sociable.
and thats the worst insult i ever got. he's saying that i am lack of self esteem and UGLY and FAT and.. just unattractive in the other way, huh?
look, i know im not being sensitive here. he really meant that. :(
i just wish... i'll just dissapear.
hate it when everyone put preassure on me.
they will ask me to jump.. and i cant refust but only to ask 'how high'
.............
why cant you be sastified?
do i have to get a nobel prize to prove it?
or maybe nobel prize aint good enough.. because i got a nobel in literature and not in the science field that will sound more... sophisticated? more useful to the society?
arghhhhhhh
what the FUCK.
leave me alone.